Thursday 28 February
Mr M has presented me with a list of ‘household economies’. It reads:
- Cancel never-used gym membership. Consequences: nil.
- Take back too-small clothes from Harvey Nichols. Consequences: nil. You’ll never fit into them, anyway.
- Reduce hairdressing bill by at least half; suggest going less often. Consequences: barely noticeable, probably. Why not let your hair go back to it’s natural colour?
- Use own Gaggia machine instead of buying several cappuccinos a day from cafes. Consequences: teaching you to use the Gaggia, again.
- Do weekly shop at Tesco instead of impulse purchases in delicatessens and farmers’ markets. Consequences: more reliable appearance of basic foodstuffs.
- Have lunch with Sarah S at home, using produce from Tesco. Consequences: who cares?
- Consider letting go domestic staff (Sonja). Consequences: quite possibly chaos. Needs further investigation.
It goes on for a couple more pages. I’m deeply hurt. What sort of life is, that, anyway? Thank goodness he hasn’t found out about my personal trainer. Clever of me to pay him in cash. Quickly squeezed into my favourite new clothes and walked into the village, so I can say Harvey Nick’s won’t take them back now I’ve worn them.
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Gainsborough’s “Mrs Elizabeth Moody and her two sons” can be viewed until 5pm every day except Mondays at Dulwich Picture Gallery (Picture by Permission of the Trustees of Dulwich Picture Gallery)
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