Buses, Buses, Buses, and the odd Train

In the week of the Dulwich Festival, when some may be journeying across London, Nicola Pickering urges all those afraid of venturing into zone two in anything other than a tube carriage to hop on a bus or a train. Anything – just get here!

Dulwich Village, an island without a double-decker bus, caught between two overland train stations, un/happily*[1] without a tube. Tell people you live in south-east London, and a look of acknowledgement and slight concern might be returned, tell them Dulwich and it turns to delight, with an occasional addition of ‘oh Dulwich, how nice’. And yet, here’s the problem – ask a non-local of my generation to meet you for a coffee in the Village or to pop round one evening for dinner and matters turn logistically decidedly ugly. ‘But Dulwich Village’ they say, ‘where IS that, and how on earth will I get there? Oh dear, perhaps we ought to meet central and then we can discuss a “proper” visit to your house sometime soon maybe’.

Perhaps the Wikipedia entry for Dulwich instead of reading ‘Dulwich is a settlement mostly in the London Borough of Southwark with parts in the London Borough of Lambeth’ ought to really read ‘Dulwich is a settlement in London ZONE TWO, it really is in London, and very easy to get to, in just as much time as other zone two areas, it really is, honest’.

But will my friends be persuaded? Lamentably no. So I remain trekking to central London or to their houses (which, I might add, are comparably just as far, if not further, but simply masquerading as closer because they have one of those modern innovations the ‘tube station’). So (I ask with desperation), how can I make them come?!

Let’s face it, a trip to the Picture Gallery (at which I have had first-hand experience as an attendant of the well-coined question[2] ‘how far is the nearest station?’[3]) will involve a certain deviation on the part of a Londoner from the beloved tube network. But really, truly, there are loads of very simple (quite lovely) ways to visit me (am I sounding convincing yet?!)

Let’s see…..of course by far the more luxurious option – the overland train. What more could you want – a train from Victoria and one from London Bridge. Just 15 minutes for either and extremely little margin for error.[4] Why waste time in a smelly tunnel underground with no mobile signal with your bottle of wine and bunch of flowers[5] crushed up against the rickety door,[6] when you could be traveling on your own clean seat, marveling at the glorious Battersea Power-station and nattering to your Mum after weeks of (unintentional) neglect. Then a short walk to an oasis of ‘out-of-town’ zone two enjoyment or a simple stroll to Court Lane through an historic village.

Then there are the buses. I love the London buses. Being a relative London-newbie perhaps I am being a little optimistic and inexperienced, but really, without fail, need to get anywhere – hop on a bus![7] Have you ever studied a bus map of London? – What intricacies, what insight, what complex and far-reaching ambitions and how mesmerizing a map it is. So many places to go, so little time…..

My tastes vary (yes indeed, I do have favorite buses) but close to my heart in April is the 176. Ah the 176, as one of its more glamorous starting points is even Trafalgar Square, an icon of fair London town, joining together North, South, East and West. The rumbling double-decker takes me directly to college on the Strand, or to work at the National Portrait Gallery every 12 minutes. No changing, no walking; a perfect zombified experience four days a week, effort not required, minimum morning exertion. The wondrous route is even considerate enough to pass right by Elephant, Waterloo AND Charing Cross tube stations. Those lax friends of mine residing on the northern line therefore take heed, alight at Elephant, take a mere one bus, be with me at my abode in 33 minutes, simple I hear you cry![8] But wait, there’s more, (who could bear such excitment) the 176 is a night bus – yes, that’s right, it runs ALL THE TIME!

And this isn’t all, no no, there’s more! The 185 directly from Victoria station in 30 minutes. Victoria station: that connects the whole of South London! Then there’s the 40 from Aldgate and London Bridge. The 12 from Westminster, Piccadilly and Oxford Circus, and last but not last the P4 (Or as some might say, the Picture Gallery 4). So those of you living in Brixton who call yourself friends beware, you know this bus exists, I know you know, I know you know.

But really, London buses, particularly the rather civilized, aesthetically pleasing non-offensive little village P4, make Dulwich more accessible that a plethora of other London locations I could name. Contrary to much hearsay, scare-mongering and general awe of our Dulwich, it really is very quick and easy to get to zone two! I’m a South Londoner, always will be:[9] there is no intimidating travel-barrier to my house – indeed I have proved beyond doubt the ease and variety of travel options possible with one little oyster card. Perhaps (and I’m beginning to feel) you just don’t want to visit me, boohoo – but for now I prefer to convince myself it’s just your irrational ‘fear of buses’ disorder, lack of love for London’s great intricacies and inability to be street-wise (travel-wise) in our great Capital (in which Dulwich lies in zone two by the way). So, dinner on Thursday at my house? Beans on toast OK?

1 Delete as necessary
2 If only I had a pound for every time……(I’d now be working in the development office)
3 To which the correct response is: ‘well there isn’t a tube station but North Dulwich and West Dulwich train stations are only ten minutes walk either way’
4 Especially important for some of my more anti-common-sensical friends
5 Mandatory for the host, obviously
6 You don’t quite trust to hold you and those 500 other people in that carriage on the train
7 Road works, traffic and oyster card auto top-ups permitting
8 Campaign for the working day to begin at 11am
9 Subjects to terms and conditions and the ability to reside in the vicinity, or more specifically, directly in Dulwich